Santa in a dhuti

25.12.09
Arguably the finest Christmas i ever had. And it all began with Indro da making his way in the morning, and Arpan-Gudduda-Mumudi and my family shoving food down my throat.
Yeah with a beginning that had a beheaded Rui, whose jawsize cometed with mine, staring at me, could it get any better.
Topshey, doi maach, maacher mathaa etc and enthusiastic mashimas sniggering and ulu-ing egged me on to attack. (ulu is the sound that relatives make once the bride and groom have said 'ilu' - Subhash Ghai too has a Bong connection. Anjan Dutta shud be proud)
But then i figured looking at the spread - am I being wel fed because before the proverbial chop arrives - i should feel satiated enough to not let the nervous lines show on my face?
Well there should have been mutton. And by Bong standards it was still a vegetarian meal.
Meanwhile i did enough touching toes in one day than i had done when i used to attend school cricket practise sessions.
And then came the evening we were all waiting for.
Colour co-ordinated bride and groom and clock watching in laws waited on, as the party wallahs trooped in. Umpteen smiles and nods at people, whose names i don't rememeber anymore( well most of them), the phones started to buzz.
"Do we take the right or the left?"
"Is it the second island after City Centre or the one after...?"
"is your father in law unciorking his single malt collection?"
And all thsi while i was being dragged at various directions to meet SoandSo when all my eyes wanted was some SOS from the piping hot fish fingers.
Superb fish fingers again. Bhetki fangs that attacked directly into your salivatory glands with just their aroma before biting into your teeth and juicing down to the wintry stomach.
And then, the Angels - Riya, Angie and Indrani started their moves from behidn the red curtain. A fitting backdrop for the city and perhaps the last time the red curtain was breached by apsaras who performed.
Ably voiced by a hulusthoool snarling MC - SharmaG, the dancers had enough charm in them that could seduce everyone this side of the red curtain including Biman Bose and mao.
And just as you were about to say 'WOW' the Mumbai phatakas - Romi, Ruchika (of Mahim causeway fame), SharmaG and SharmaP and lady Simi (not Simi the gandalf but Simi the dancer) - began their "WAKAO"
MIthun, Jeetu, Bappi came across in avatars that would make even Jeetuji pale compared to his shoe and Parbhuji would have exclaimed "Supaaaarb, sexxxxy, mindblowing, super-duper-sarvotyaam" and Bapida would have had tears roll down his cheeks (an impossibilty,because of the distance to be covered).
"naino mein sapna"...is what dreams began with and rounded off by dance Dance's immortal poetry, that underlined and foretold what was to happen in theevening thereafter.
Move over Nostradamus , come forth B Subhash.
Everybody did dance with Pa Pa Pa and everybody did dance with Ma Ma.
Never has bengal been so unanimous in its affirmation with any party slogan.
Chicago residents, Londoners, Delhiites, Mumbaiites, and other villagers last night, decided to, before the red dupatta usher in Santa in a dhuti with its own brand of Pop-o-sanskriti.
And if you thought that was the end..hehehe..you were wrong.
A sports journalist pal tippled over, and hopefully will be back in a day to coverdrive.
Inquisitive and lecherous eyes with "what's her number" in their eyes, could only muster a "ohh i see..she's ratoola's friend?" and a smile
And the Kolkata pulao and chicken seemed to have bowled over the diners.
And then, the backpack and Surya's guitar came out.
And a medley of gautamChatterjee, R D Burman ensued, peppered by an enthusiastic aunty who sombred the evening with her tagore overture, soon to be overshadowed by roving-eye rhiju's Sanu impersonations over 'angna mein baba'.
Come 30th the reception will be witnes to the real Baba. baba Ronydev as he makes his cool trip this side of the equator. But that will be another post.
As Ratoola did a Helen, and i stayed static as jalal Agha's movie career, mom-in-law became the grandfather clock.
The decibel, acibel and time tabil levels had been breached.
My voice was gone. And somewhere on the beautifully done up garden, i could see Santa sneak out in a red dhoti...or maybe the 3 magi woudl be wondering whether their choice of gifts for the Lord was good enough 2009 years ago...
I wouldn't kow. But Magi or noMagi, this Christmas has been my Merriest ever.
And it has just started.
let me warn you.